EXAMPLE ESSAY
Some topics require numerous examples for adequate development. For instance, suppose the thesis statement is "Our city streets are in terrible conditions." Would three extended examples of streets in bad condition be sufficient to develop this thesis statement? Probably not. Asserting that all - or even most - of a city's streets are in terrible condition based on only three or four examples would be rather unwise. After all, a city has many streets, and most of them may in fact be in good condition. A generalization made too hastily before examining enough evidence. Making such a generalization without giving sufficient examples for support lessens your credibility with the reader. In short, thesis statements that state or imply "most" or "all" may need numerous examples for adequate support; thesis statements that are more moderate, stating or implying "some" or "a few", can often be supported with fewer, but more developed, examples.
Choices of Examples
Since an example is a "representative member" of a class or category, the examples you use to develop the thesis statement should be representative examples, examples that fairly support the thesis. For instance, let's say that you were writing an essay about the items found in mail-order catalogues, and in planning the essay you noticed that there were many items that were ridiculous. So you might have arrived at the thesis statement "Many items offered in mail-order catalogues are just superfluous, absurd trifles." If you used for your examples only items of one type such as toys, clearly the examples would be unfairly chosen - not representative of most of the items offered in these catalogues. To be fair and effective, the examples should be from a range of areas.
Organization of Examples
The examples and details in an expository paragraph can be organized according to time, familiarity, and importance. Developmental paragraphs in the example essay must be connected so that they flow smoothly. Just because a paragraph introduces an additional aspect of the topic does not mean that the shift should be smooth so that the reader clearly understands the progression of thought. Remember, just as a paragraph is coherent if the sentences can be switched around without significant change in meaning, an essay is incoherent if the paragraphs can be switched around without significant change.
There are two ways to connect the paragraphs in an essay: (1) with transitional expressions and (2) with the repetition of key words and phrases.
Transitions to Introduce Examples. In the first developmental paragraph of an example essay, there are several phrases that can be used to introduce the first example of group of examples:
Take, for example, this topic.
One example of a person who is kind is my neighbor.
One area of town where there are examples of improvement is uptown.
In the second developmental paragraph, the examples can be introduced in a variety of ways:
Another example of good teacher is Mrs. Hahn.
An additional example is Mr. Ming.
Second, consider Mr. Jones.
In the last developmental paragraphs, you can use the same type of transitions as above, but in an example paragraph that introduces the most important or most significant examples, you should indicate its importance in the beginning of the paragraph:
Still another example of a good teacher is Ms. Lin.
Third, consider Main Street .
Finally, there is the problem of air pollution.
Repetition of Key Words and Phrases. The standard transitional expressions are useful for making paragraphs connect logically; however, these phrases used all of the time can become mechanical and repetitious. For variety and for eve more smoothness, pick up a key idea, word or phrase fro one paragraph and use it in the sentence introducing the next paragraph.
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