NARRATIVE ESSAY

Ordering your sentences and ideas chronologically is not hard, as you know. However, deciding what to include what to omit - in other words, making your paragraph unified - can be difficult. And what is perhaps more difficult is having a controlling idea for your paragraph. Imagine that you received a letter from your Belgian pen-pal who is very curious about the various American customs. If you lived in New Orleans , you might decide to write about the famous Mardi Gras celebration. Your narration might begin like this:

"For many, Mardi Gras day begins on St. Charles Avenue with the Rex Parade. By nine o'clock, the avenue is lined with people dressed in all kinds of costumes. At around ten o'clock, the parade begins. First there is the sound of sirens. The police on motorcycles always lead the parade to clear the street. Then a band usually marches by. At this time the people start clapping and swaying to the music. Next come the masked men on horseback. Finally, the first float arrives carrying men in costumes and masks. Immediately, everyone rushes toward the float. They wave their hands and yell, "Throw me something, Mister!" The men generally throw beads and coins at the crowd. Then the float passes, but soon another one comes and the people do the same thing over again. After about an hour, the parade passes by and the first part of Mardi Gras day ends."

The writer has narrowed down the topic to the Rex Parade on Mardi Gras day. The sentences are arrange logically: The topic suggest chronological development, and the sentences are arranged in chronological order. The paragraph, then, is coherent. The paragraph is also unified; all of the sentences discuss what people do during this parade. But is the author's attitude about the even clear. Not really. The person in Belgium would have a difficult time determining the author's attitude about this topic. Of course, the writer does not have to tell what she feels about this experience, but a controlling idea would help the reader get a clearer image of what that experience is like. The paragraph can be improved by revising it to have a strong controlling idea:

"When people here talk of Mardi Gras, they use the expression "Mardi Gras Madness". This delightful madness begins for many on St. Charles Avenue with the Rex Parade. By nine o'clock, the avenue is lined with people of all ages in colorful costumes, from cavemen to Supermen. They stroll among the crowd and chat with friends and strangers alike. Some dance and some drink. At around ten o'clock, the excitement mounts as the parade begins. First there is the welcome sound of sirens. The police on motorcycles always lead the parade to make a path through the jubilant crowd. Then a band usually marches by, playing a popular tune such as the theme from Star Wars. At this time people start clapping and dancing to the music. Next come the masked men on horseback. They wave and the crowd waves back. Sometimes a girl goes up an kisses one of the riders. Finally, someone usually shouts, "There it is!" It is the first float carrying men in costumes and masks. Immediately, everyone rushes toward the float. They wave their hands and yell, "Throw me something, Mister!" The men throw beads and souvenir coins to the excited crowd. Usually, they catch the coins, but sometimes one hits the grounds Then several people rush to retrieve it, pushing and shoving if necessary. Then the float passes, but soon another one comes and the madness continues in the same way. After about an hour, the parade passes by and the first part of Mardi Gras day ends."

By adding a topic sentence with a strong controlling idea ("delightful madness"), the writer clearly establishes her attitude about the parade. In addition, the writer has changed some of the sentences and added some details to make sure that the support shows the delightful madness at the Rex Parade.